Apply for a Leadership Role at the FDA or CDC

It is very easy to qualify for a leadership role at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and the U.S. Center for Disease Control (CDC)!

To see if you qualify, simply examine the charts below showing reported adverse reactions submitted primarily by medical personnel to the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS). Be aware that the charts do not show the current 31% backlog of cases in 2021 and only 1 in 100 adverse reactions are submitted. If you can pick out the difference between the year 2021 and prior years and your answer matches the answer of the FDA and CDC leadership, you automatically qualify to apply! Hint: The difference does not relate to number of drug doses as hundreds of millions of flu and other vaccine drugs were injected over the last several years. Once you have your answer, simply follow the steps below the charts to obtain an FDA or CDC leadership position!











Official FDA and CDC Leadership Answer
“The most significant difference between the year 2021 and past years on the charts is that the label for year 2021 is prefaced with a period (‘.’).”

Are you leadership material? Did your answer match the answer of the FDA and CDC Leadership? If so, or if you are willing to claim that your answer matched, you qualify to apply as detailed in the three simple steps below!

1. Attach the “Pharma Pledge” to your resume:
   
   “I Pledge My Undying Loyalty and Obedience To All Multinational Pharmaceutical Companies. I Will Be a Good Soldier In the Fight For Drug Approval and the Fight Against Bad Publicity. I Am a Faithful Servent To My Pharma Overlords.”
   
   
2. Memorize the following statement and the two emergency backup statements below:
   
   
   • “After careful analysis, the [insert origanization: CDC or FDA] has determined that no causal realation has been found between [insert adverse reaction] and [insert drug].”
     
     
   • “Rare cases of [insert adverse reaction] occur in only [insert small number] out of one million individuals.”
     
     
   • “Factcheck: [insert any marginally believable statement here].” [Include a picture of the FDA or CDC building to add to the believability.]
     
   
   
3. Put your resume in an envelope and mail it to the drug company of your choice, with following line below the address:
   
   
   • Attention: FDA / CDC Leadership Openings